The pre new year, holiday season is a tricky time for people. Obviously you have to buy a bunch of stuff for people in hopes that they will like it. You also have to deal with the weather, unconscionable customers at your job, and you have to feel guilty about all of the food that you ate. These are unavoidable and in a weird way part of what we have come to love about this time of year. And there’s always that light at the end of the tunnel, January first. January first is when all of the problems disappear. You stop eating desserts, you exercise, cut out frivolous spending, see your friends more, see your friends less, nicer to family, stop taking life for granted, get a hobby, achieve a goal, cut out dirty habits, the list goes on. The first of the year is magical date when you all of a sudden you stop being yourself and you transform into an idealized version of yourself, the self you know you can be, the self that you see when you’re having a good hair day or buy a round of drinks, you love that person. So why not be that person right now?
Saying you’re going to change is great, it gets the idea out there. Saying your going to change in front of people is even better because it makes you accountable. You can think all of your aspirations until you run out of cloud space and when you inevitably forget about, lose interest in, or give up on them it doesn’t matter because nobody knew and it’s just another disappointment for you to throw on your private pile. But when you tell someone, you have to stay on top of it, whether it works out or not, because if they’re a good pal they will ask you about it and unless you’re as good at dodging personal questions as I am, you’ll have to speak to it. “Oh yeah I’m down to eight and a half packs a day.”
Weight loss is a very popular new year goal. People join gyms on the First and the regulars anguish in the passerby using a rowing machine as a toe curler. I say, great for the toe curler, gotta start somewhere, but the gym rat is angry because he knows this is an empty gesture. In two weeks time Mr. Toe will have lost his foot to diabetes and still eating donuts because he’s already lost one, what does he need the other for. However, there is usually one, one new signee who makes it though that first week of January, doesn’t go to the Dunkin nextdoor, has egg whites for breakfast, salad for lunch and some lean chicken and broccoli for dinner, he does this through February, starts to see some results, then March, he’s got muscles all of a sudden, by the next new year he really is a different person. Not because of his appearance, although let’s be honest, he looks great, but because he is now a committer, someone with restraint who conquered an addiction that used to imprison him. Here’s the twist, this guy whom we are all so proud of, didn’t start on January first. This guy, started December sixth. December sixth has no significance other than it is a Thursday after Thanksgiving when guy (fine we can call him Ralph) decided he was done. Ralph said no more, what do I need another cookie for? Why wait until monday? “Diet starts monday was something Ralph used to say all of the time.” No more. It starts right here and now, no weening, no whining, cold turkey. And Ralph feels great.
This post is not only applicable to losing weight, it’s just that seems to be the most popular thing people attempt to change about themselves around this time. It could be anything, I’ll extend an olive branch. I am a lazy jerk, if I had it my way I would spend the rest of my life watching movies, playing video games and eating the heart shaped Reeses with the Pieces inside, the ones you can only get around Valentine’s Day (I’d have to stock up after the holiday and freeze my portions). That sounds wonderful to me, but I have other interests as well, I like to write, play piano, make bombs, all sorts of things, but I avoid them because they take a considerable amount of energy more than my former three. These few paragraphs are an attempt to form new habits, ones in which I can be proud of, that can alleviate my lethargy.
Anyway, I guess this is a really long way of saying, waiting for the new year is stupid, you don’t need another piece of cake, I don’t need another day to sleep in, whatever you want to change about yourself, you can do it right now.
