For decades fans of Steely Dan have held themselves in a class of their own. They believe no one understands music like they do, their tastes are unfathomable to the rest of society, and even though Steely Dan has sold over 40 million records worldwide, these men are the kingdom keepers of the audiosphere.
The question is why is it so important? Of course music taste is subjective and of course Steely Dan is an accomplished and important group, (who should not be blamed for the antics and complexes their devotees hold) but why is it that their fans derive such importance from enjoying it? To understand this we must go back, back to the the early 20th century.
Since the creation of popular music people have only ever been able to look down on other’s opinions of music if they were older. Fans of contemporary music could only validly criticize other people’s tastes after their favorites had become oldhat. Fans of Sinatra looked down on Zeppelin, Zeppelin lovers rebuke Blondie, Blondies hate Snoop Dogg, and old Doggie Doggs hate the new Snoop Dogg. The cycle lives on.
When Steely Dan came on the scene in the early 70s with Can’t Buy a Thrill, their sound was not as sophisticated as it would grow to be, but the pieces were there. Their topics were uncompromised, instrument selection eclectic, and with the vocals of a Christopher Walken doing his worst Louis Armstrong impression, you could tell they were not interested in being like any other bands.
The music snobs flocked to them like yellow on yellow rice. Because of Steely Dan’s fearlessness and ability to succeed using every instrument available the supercilious sycophants came in droves. But most importantly, more important than any other trait when it comes to thinking your music is better than everyone else’s… not everybody liked Steely Dan. To this the Dan Stans would reply “You just don’t get it”. A symphony sweeter than anything Donald Fagen and Walter Becker could ever write. These five words dismantle their opponent whilst hoisting their host.
Finally the Danimals, a young group of music obsessed, romantically suppressed, scoffers had their heroes. A cynical band that believed in an underground lizard society. Since their band wasn’t understood by the masses it enforced the idea that their music was too cerebral for pedestrian minds, never would the age old adage different strokes for different folks cross their mind and if it did it only meant the different folks and their strokes were lesser. Danatics brought this attitude into middle age with them along with beer bellies, braided belts, and unsatisfactory careers. Still clinging to the notion that their favorite band choice made them unique, special, and a cut above. And they were correct.
A study by the University of Radiohead was conceived and a collective of Steely Dan die hards were asked to participate in an IQ test. They all eagerly and confidently agreed to participate. The gentlemen were left in an unattended room with 3 hours to complete the examination. The study found that all of the men who took the test scored higher than the average person. However this is because they all cheated. Meaning the headline should be Steely Dan Fans Score Higher on IQ Tests Because they Are More Likely to Cheat.
In conclusion I only have one thing left to say to these people. You’ve been telling me you were a genius since you were 17, and all this time I still don’t know what you mean.
